a ritual for reading 

                                   to be read after introduction, before pg. two

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introduction to ritual..

in this ritual, you will open yourself up to meet your inner[blackgirl]child. she may not reveal herself all at once. that is okay. there is no wrong way to do this. there is no way to mess up. trust her. trust yourself. 

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she will show up when it is safe. it is your work, as a blackwoman with this precious inner[blackgirl]child within you, to make it safe for her to meet you. do not judge or shame yourself. it is okay if you are struggling to learn how to make it safe for her to meet you. i am still struggling to make it safe, too. we can do this together, sis.

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we will begin by connecting first with our innerloving[blackmother]. inside each of us blackwomxnhealing is an inner[blackgirl]child, and an innerloving[blackmother]. she will make it safe. you will meet her, connect with her, channel her and embody her. she is your highest self, your inner nurterer. in this ritual, we will begin to learn to give ourselves the loving tenderness we have been seeking from somewhere else.

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you will need..

-the mourning my inner[blackgirl]child book

-the quietest safest place you can arrive in this moment

-a grounding object (anything you can hold in your hand that brings you into the present moment)

-a journal

-something to write with

-a mirror

(optional)

-markers/ colored pencils/ crayons

-a stuffed animal 

-a baby picture of yourself 

-a bath tub w/ bath salts 

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let us begin..

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one..

take a moment to settle into your space. allow your body to relax. holding your grounding object, and your stuffed animal if you have one, play the guided meditation below. 

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two..

open your journal to a new blank page and write a letter to your innerloving[blackmother]. who do you need her to be to make it safe to be vulnerable? how can you allow yourself to embody her nurturing in this moment?

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three..

take a moment to settle into your space. allow your body to relax. holding your grounding object, and your stuffed animal if you have one, play this meditation. 

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four..

open your journal to a new blank page and write a letter to your inner[blackgirl]child. let her know how precious and special she is to you. invite her into your life. 

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five..​

using your non dominant hand (the hand you do not normally write with), and the color marker/ crayon/ pencil you feel most drawn to in this moment, allow your inner[blackgirl]child to speak to you. let her write/ draw/ color/ paint. let her come out however she feels she needs to in this moment. do not censor her. do not judge. allow whatever comes out to come out. if you do not feel her presence, imagine what your younger self might say to you in this moment and allow her to express that to you.

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six..

go to the nearest mirror and stare into your own eyes. meet all the pieces of you here, and repeat the words of affirmation you need to hear in this moment. stretch your arms out wide to your sides and give yourself a long tight hug. you deserve it, sis. this is hard heavy work but you are doing it. 

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seven..

run yourself a nice hot bath. adorn it with rose hips, bath balms, salts and scents. light candles. make yourself a up of tea and a cup of water. play this playlist, and let yourself ease deeper into this feeling of getting free. 

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repeat this ritual as necessary. i try to do some combination of this at least once a week. as you settle into your own rhythm of healing, you will find what feels right for you. do not judge yourself as you stumble through this. you are doing so good, sis. you are doing so good. 

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you are now ready to read blackgirl bluesoul. as you read this, pay attention to what comes up. each time you feel heavy/ triggered/ overwhelmed, take a break. breathe. journal about what is coming up. revisit any piece of this ritual that might bring you soothing. only continue when your spirit feels ready..

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when you finish this section, take a moment to review the citations below. i write in communion with a legacy of blackwomxnhealing, whose works have given me so much in my own process. in your own time, at your own pace, listen to their songs, order their books, read their poetry..